In just one short day of blogging I am proud to say that Sporting Naz has convinced an American hero, a true competitor to submit a post for our blog. Ladies and Gentlemen; Floyd Landis.
Floyd Landis here. Or as I was known with teammates on my former cycling team-that-shall-not-legally-be-named, Floyd Lan-dogg. Bark, bark, bitches. I want to use this broad and widely read forum to talk about a very important issue, that issue being the media rush to judgment and it's culpability in ruining reputations.
As you may be aware, I was subject to a viscous slander after winning the Tour de France; the false allegation that I used steroids. My life was ruined. My wife left me. Everything, lost. And now the same has happened to a good friend of mine, Michael Vick.
A man without peers, Mike has typified proper NFL behavior since joining the league. He has promoted community and civility in the birthplace of kindness, Atlanta, and has been a positive role model for his younger brother, inmate #45563. But after the Miami airport pot incident and the subsequent media rumor frenzy, all he's worked for and built is gone. Destroyed in a few short sound bytes. Bye, bye, bye. It makes me sick to watch the destruction of yet another great man, like myself, and the media should be ashamed.
I tried calling Mike to get a comment for my post, and to find out where I could purchase a water bottle with a secret compartment, but unfortunately the number Jim Mora gave me was incorrect--the person on the line was speaking some sort of mumbley-jumbley foreign language. Couldn't understand a damn thing they said. But Mike would have likely said something like, "You know, man, the media is out to get me, man, and you know, you know?" and me, Floyd Landis, I agree. Godspeed, Michael.
As for the allegations regarding his behavior as 'Ron Mexico,' to that I say, 'so what?' Who amongst us doesn't have some form of VD nowadays? I once borrowed Lance Armstrong's bike and the seat gave me crabs that burrowed so far up my ass they turned to head lice. How do you think I pedaled so fast in the mountain stage? Better crabs than ball cancer.
Before I go and fulfill this reoccurring urge to destroy objects in my house, I want to mourn the passing of a hero of mine, Scott 'Bam Bam' Bigelow. I was always drawn to wrestling, watching men who, like me, suffer from naturally high levels of testosterone. Their athleticism, their strength ; wrestlers are a beauty to behold, a testament to their hard work and natural living. It was an honor to watch the 400 pound Bam Bam fly to from the top ropes, placing his tattooed skull into an opponents crotch, and his antics will be missed by me, Floyd Landis.
-Flyod Landis, www.floydlandis.com