Friday, August 3

Todd Stinkston...

Thought I would booster the redskin morale with the upcoming season...

Stinkston is just flat out afraid...I would too if had legs that skinny...are those things real?!?!

Wednesday, July 18

End of an era?

Well, Michael Vick was indicted yesterday on charges of running a dog fighting leauge from his home. Now i've been known to rough up a few puppies or two (good stress relief), but some of the details of the killing and raising of these animals are quite insane and grotesque. If Vick is sick enough to drown and electrocute puppies, and in one case slam them to the ground, he should at least have to serve some type of sentence. For now though, It looks like the greatest rushing quarterback's career could soon be over.
My question is, do the Falcons take a shot at Daunte, now that hes available?

Sunday, July 15

Happy 10,000th loss Philadelphia...

In related bad franchise news, ( see two post below) and since we are constantly on the topic of my favorite "the race to the bottom", the Philadelphia phillies today lost their franchises 10,000th loss. Way to go Phillies keep preserving that trademarked Philadelphia losing. It's not like you have only won one World Series championship in 125 years or had 20 or so l100 plus loss seasons. God I can't believe no Philadelphia squads mad that list I made.....

Friday, July 13

Stay classy Yankee fans....

I was at yesterday's game in the god awful trop, with the god awful Rays taking on the mildly awful Yanks, and witnessed and old woman get a beer thrown on her by a angry Yankees fan. If that wasn't enough, I saw this "gumba" looking dude (i.e., incredible amounts of hair gel, surname usually ends in a vowel, tony soprano, [insert generalized italian stereotype here]..etc ) in a Jeter jersey cuss out an old couple for cheering for their team. Way to go Yankee fans, you prove me correct every single year.

On that note, on behalf of the lowly Rays organization, I would like to welcome the Yankees to "the bottom",where the water is warm, the fans unruly, the beer flows like river of desperation; masking the awful truth of the sad state of the franchise. Get used to it Yankees, at this rate, it might be a long time till you get back to the top.

Worst of the Worst?

I was thinking recently, are the Rays really theworst managed sports team?
I used to think it was Milwuake (who cares how I spell milwakee, get a life cheesehead) but it appears they have made strides in the past few years on top of their new stadium...

Coming from New England, I am a Celtics fan and they are managed by the incompent Danny Ainge, who along with the front office has ran that franchise, one of the most storied in probably all of sports, into the ground. The way I see it, the Pirates and Royals have yet to make any strides since what the 70's? 80's?
Here's my list, feel free to add to it...

1. Detroit Lions- One playoff game since 1957! Forced probably the greatest football player to retire early.
2.Pittsburgh Pirates- when was the last time they had a squad? Clemente?
3. Devil Rays- cheap owners, bad coach...[insert complaint here]
4. Raiders-need i say more?
5. NY Islanders- consistenly mediocore or awful
6. Royals- small-market team known to be cheap and involved in revenue sharing...
7. Chicago Blackhawks- not a good squad
8. Cubbies?- I love the cubs as much as the next guy, but that 97 year WS drought is a bit pathetic...
9.Buffalo Bills- You go to 4 superbowls and don't win one of them? The music city miracle could only happen to Buffalo
10. Cleveland Browns- Its only fitting that our nations most tortured sports city make my list with at least one team....

I guess you could throw the Arizona Cardinals and NO Saints on this list but they seem to at least be improving, where as these clubs do not show signs of improvement. Just cause a team is losing doesnt put them on my list, but rather a lack of progession. If I were making that list you'd almost have to put teams like the Clippers, GS Warriors, the Phillies or any Philly team for that matter.

The lions are the worst in my opinion, they just don't ever get any better,

Wednesday, July 11

All-Star Naz

Peter Gammons on why the AL has won 9 in a row:
"People talk about the Jeter effect: he's been in 8 All-Star games and never lost."

This quote was based on the fact that Jim Leland made some comment after the game about looking over at Jeter in the 7th to find him mega-intense and into the game. And it's a good thing to, because those other AL guys had started dicking off and speaking in Spanish and if it weren't for Jeters's intensity from the bench, Orlando would've never flied out to end the game with the bases juiced.

So just to be clear: Jeter, who went O-for and made zero contribution in the field willed his team to victory. He just wanted it more than everyone else. In fact, would you believe in the past eight years no one has wanted to win more than him? And if they did they certainly didn't channel this pure willpower into victories like Jeter has.

If I were Jeter I would stop wasting this awesome ability to will the AL to victory in All-Star games and start willing the Yanks to win the big one. But that's just me.

Home Run Naz

I like the decision to let little kids shag balls during the HR derby -- in our litigious society it seems so much is deemed unsafe without ever letting those inclined to try it figure it out on their own.

That said, holy shit what a bad idea.

Theoretically MLB players are the best hitters of baseballs on earth, and the HR derby group is comprised of guys known for mashing the ball harder than most MLB players. Little kids, one the other hand, aren't known for their catching or reacting or anything other than fucking around and having fun. So it makes perfect sense to put the two together. And boy was that one kid fucking around when Rios almost took his head off. As the ball hit the fence the kid finally reacted to it whizzing by his head. Awesome.

Friday, June 29

D-Ray reaction

Is it just me but when the D-Rays lose, they lose is fan-torturing, hair pulling, expletive throwing fashion? I thought to understand this torture; I would consult chief D-Ray scientist and scholar Elijah Dukes, who has come up with a variety of reactions and reflexes that we D-rays fans frequently utilize….

A- The “Knee Jerk Reaction”- A staple in avid sports fans repertoire, the “knee jerk reaction” usually entails uncontrolled flailing of the limbs while screaming for one’s team. If not controlled the “knee-jerk” as it is known, can destroy tables, injure nearby puppies and causing scenes at nearby Beef-O-Bradys.

B- The Maddon Reflex- Primarily used for Devil Ray games, the Maddon Reflex causes the fan to unleash well-deserved verbal lashings to the incompetent skipper. More uncommonly, The Maddon reflex can be used for a variety of purposes. (I.E. The weather is rainy because of Joe Maddon. Joe Maddon caused Global Warming. Joe Maddon started hurricane Katrina….etc.)

C- The Expletive tosser- a personal favorite, this reflex can break up a quiet evening at a local eatery and at the same time, cause marital problems and in rare cases mentally damage a nearby youngster.

D- The Destroyer- predominantly used by the most passionate of Rays fans, the Destroyer is mainly responsible for all the broken coffee table, lamps, remotes and televisions in an avid Ray fans households.

E- The passive-aggressive- The passive aggressive is a method used by the most emotionally worn fan of them all; the fan who has seen the same season unfold year after year, game after game. The “PA” as professor Dukes calls it, simply changes the channel in the sixth inning knowing his team will blow their 5 run lead.

So what’s your reaction Devil Ray nation? Is it A? Is it all of the above?

Feel free to chime in on your reaction type and we will be sure to forward it to Dr. Dukes….