Tuesday, February 27

Psst, Gary, Witches Aren't Real

Gary Sheffield has announced his intention not to cooperate with the Senate investigation into steroid use in Major League Baseball.

Gary dropped science like so:

"The [players'] association told us this is just a witch hunt, they don't want us to talk to them. This is all about getting [Bonds]. If this was legitimate and they did it the right way, it would be different. But this a witch hunt. They're just trying to collect a lot of stuff that doesn't
make any sense and throw the shit against the wall."
Without touching on the merits of the investigation, or lack thereof, let's break that quote down.
  • That the players association is telling players not to talk with investigators directly contradicts their previous statement; "We will give [the players] whatever our best advice is under the circumstances, and then players make their individual decisions."

  • "If they did it the right way" - I'm not sure what Sheffield means by the "right way", like catching the needle still stuck in Bonds' quivering ass? Or maybe The Clear, err, massage cream still glistening on his pectorals? Maybe Sheff could explain to us what the right way to go about this is, though I'd imagine that the right way for him is no way at all.

  • "This is a witch hunt" -- I'm trying to nitpick a widely used phrase but a 'witch hunt' implies that the charges are dubious at best and 'hunters' are taking extreme measures to make the charges gain validity. In this case the steroid usage did indeed occur and the investigation is trying to determine where and when, hence, it asking players who are shrouded in suspicion to help clarify their role.

IN TOTALLY UNRELATED NEWS here are two completely random pictures of Barry Bonds.

No comments: