Dear Asante

Dear Asante,
You are officially a waste of talent and are not just letting me down, your letting your team,tons of patriot fans and UCF Alumni down. How did you not show up to Marquise Hill's funeral? What did he have to do with you "getting paid"? Once that happened, I lost all respect for you man. You had a good year last year and have gotten more and more acclimated to our defense with each passing season. Have one more good year like that and you will "Get Paid". However, If you think you need to be paid like you are the greatest CB in the leauge you are wrong. You couldn't even hold a candle to guys like Champ Bailey. Go ahead man, go test free agency waters, end up on that long list of pats player that thought the grass was greener; only to see there careers tumble,performance drop dramatically, and miss out on superbowls. Call up your boys Branch, Givens, Milloy, Law, Woody, Andruzzi, [insert Pats player here], I'm sure they would be able to advise you more clearly, since I am just a "homer", a loyal pats fan who knows nothing about football.Happy trails, Asante. Now please get off my f-ing team.

Sincery,
Bryan "Get Paid" Abznaz

Patriots Draft

I was thoroughly impressed with the Draft Day action of my team. Just when you think your managment is acting cheap and refusing to pay playerE, they shell out the money for some big time players like Randy Moss. Also, I think Merriweather will be a star in this league regardless of coming from thug university. We shouldn't take much against him, simply because he comes from a team with historically bad sportsmanship and thug mentality. (The U, "You don't come into da OB son!", FIU Brawl) I do think Randy Moss is still an elite reciever in this league and not as big of a headache as the media makes him out to be. So the guy doesn't wanna to play for a joke of a football team like the oakland Raiders, frankly, I can't see anyone wanting to play for the Raiders right now! Lets not forget that Andrew Walter guy might very well be the worst starting Qb in awhile and if a player with Moss's ability is catching one ball for 8 yds on an every week basis, it would seem a little disheartning. However, theres no excuse for it and your payed to be a part of a team and should likewise, be grateful regardless of the situation. I assure everyone, if Randy Moss is any sort of trouble in Foxbourough, he will be run out of town faster than you can say "Straight Cash Homie". For all you non fans, Behlichick refuses to deal with egos;, cutting staples like Ty Law,Lawyer Milloy,Deion Branch and soon to be Asante Samuel simply because there head wasn't in to winning championships but rather on putting some slick 22s on their pimped out rides. Though I am shocked at the move for Moss, I can't question the team that will probably, in all likelihood, win next year's superbowl. MWWAHAHA

GO PATS...

Shit fI just realized football season is so far away!

Thanks for the memories Bledsoe...

Though "old barrel legs" Drew was probably one of the most immobile quarterbacks to ever play the game, I can't help but respect the guy who year in and year out did his job regardless of the situation. Everywhere he went he was unappreciated by the fans ; mainly for his sometimes irrational throwing decisions. and how he didn't fear the long ball, even when throwing into a crowded secondary. In all seriousness, here is a guy who has had his job taken from a younger person each time (Brady,Losman, Romo) yet still went out every day and did what was expected of him. I can remember that hit that Mo Lewis delivered to Bledsoe and the nine year era that it ended. However, people forget after that hit, (that sheered a blood vessel causing some very dangerous internal bleeding that could have killed him) Bledsoe apparently wanted to go back into the game and had to be told to come off the field by the coaching staff. Simply put, the man enjoyed playing football and in my opinion, had a decent 14 year career. He really wasn't the most consistent of quarterback, but he had some great years for the Patriots and ultimately, he was a big reason why I began watching football. Thanks Drew for the memories and introducing me to a thing called football.

Top-10 Consistent Franchises

Over at Pro-Football-Reference Doug has put together a list of the most consistent NFL franchises since 1978.

The site contains some math jargon (translation: cover your room in plastic before visiting the site, whereupon your brain will spew from your ears, sending it's college-altered grey matter everywhere like the frag from an IED) but here are the top-10 teams reproduced without any permission whatsoever. Visit the site for the complete list.

The columns are: 1) Average wins and 2) the average standard deviation from that number year to year.

crd 5.91 1.69
htx 4.80 1.72
mia 9.53 2.12
sea 8.02 2.14
min 8.48 2.19
den 9.65 2.41
pit 9.44 2.42
kan 8.37 2.46
det 6.41 2.53
phi 8.80 2.60

Congrats to the Cardinals, winners of...something. Although with an average of 6 wins a season that's consistency akin to fondling a cookie dough textured tit at the nursing home.

I Wish Females Were As Loyal (After Poor Performance)

The Redskins led the league in attendence for the 7th consecutive year.

Washington drew 708,952, followed by the New York Giants (628,925), Kansas City (624,171) and the New York Jets (618,563).

Washington also led the league in total attendance, home and away, for its 16 games with 1,232,200

IN OTHER NEWS Dan Snyder has traded the Redskins next 14 first round picks to Buzz Aldrin in an attempt to purchase the moon.

Texans make a good move for once? whaat?!?!?

The Houston Texans today traded for Atlanta backup Qb Matt Shaub; ending David Carr's reign but giving away a few early draft picks in exchange for a solid QB. Now alot of people who have watched Shaub play consider the guy one of the best backups in the game, and alot of people called him a "flash in the pan" that only performs well in limited action. This year we will all see how good of a Qb Shaub really is and I believe, he will put that talk to rest. I always hated that "project" mentality approach that teams take.. like our players just need to develop and they need to be nurtured into the big leagues (entire Devil Rays squad)...When you go to the pros you either have the tools or you dont. Yes, there is a learning curve but come one seriously

" David Carr will be good in six or so years...",

or the
"He just gets sacked all the time its not his fault the O-line sucks!"

You know what? The fact remains David Carr had his six year opportunity and simply couldn't take that team absolutely anywhere. Is David Carr a good Quarterback? Absolutely, but the Texans needed a change of pace and I absolutely love this pickup. Maybe, in six years time and in respect to the " Project Approach" , Eric will show this post to his buddy Mario Williams, who he insanely still stands by with last years #1 pick .Personally, I would probably take a look at all the amazing rookies last year Addai, Jones Drew,Hester,VY, Colston, Mark Anderson,AJ Hawk,Maroney....you know what, forget it the list is too long.

Trouble in PasierbLand?

Is it just me or do the Bears look like they could possibly be in trouble for next year?

Tank- getting locked up..Who would have though a guy with the name Tank Johnson would be arrested on weapon charges?

Rex- self-explanatory

Thomas Jones- A lotta people do not realize the caliber of a running back that Thomas Jones is. The loss of TJ is leaving a huge weight on Benson's shoulder. It'll be intereting to see if they draft an RB.

Lance Briggs- Will he really sit out an entire year? Coming from someone who watched Deion Branch demand money as if he was the best in the biz, I'd say that Briggsy will seriously sit out the year if it came down to it. He would not only be making a huge mistake on his career but he would leave a gaping hole in that run defense.

Mentally- More recently, alot of teams collapse the years after their first superbowl appearance in awhile, (Raiders, Giants, Bucs..etc) I'm worried that this could happend to a yound team like the bears as well

For all purposes, I hope that the Bears overcome these offseason struggles with a solid draft and a clear mind on the upcoming season. It will be interesting to see what transpires with that team the next year not only cause I'm a fan but also because it could very possibly, provoke many Knee Jerk reactions by Bear Afficianado Jon Pasierb.....

Trouble In Franchisedise

Lance Briggs is done with the Bears:

"I am now prepared to sit out the year if the Bears don't trade me or release me," Briggs told FoxSports.com on Monday night. "I've played my last snap for them. I'll never play another down for Chicago again."

He claims he'd motivated, in large part, by a desire to be 'the man':

I'm a competitor and I want the same thing [Brian Urlacher] has. I've learned a lot from Brian as a player and a leader and I eventually want to be 'the man' somewhere. I want to be like him and have everything put on me too. Obviously I'll never be able to do that there.

Though resident Bears fan Jon has not posted here at the Naz, he found the time to comment on this article at ESPN.com.

Blah blah, trade him. Hopefully he gets cancer so that any money he makes go to doctors' bills. He shouldnt be allowed to enjoy $7 mill, the way he's been acting.

NFL USO

...
I've been following the daily dispatches from the NFL USO trip to Iraq and Afghanistan. The players on trip are Alge Crumpler, Will Shields, Shelton Quarles and Ben Watson.

The dispatches won't be filed in the annals of great war-front prose, but they're important, nonetheless, because they humanize the both the war and the NFL players. All too often we speak of both as a homogeneous mass, only acknowledging the individual when they reach the opposite ends the achievement spectrum; that being greatness or failure. It's necessary to understand that the Army is comprised of individuals, individuals trying to do good, and individuals who are appreciative of the visit from these NFL players. Though reciprocity need not be pointed out (as in: the pleasure is all mine) you get the sense that the players are taking a lot from their trip, both in the impact that they have and understanding the sacrifices that the solders make daily.

If you have 10 minutes take the time to read all 6 dispatches.

The Crime Wave Continues

Before you even read this, think; if a stolen gun is a bad thing to have, what does that make a gun stolen from the ATF?

TAMPA, Fla. -- Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Charles Sharon was charged with stealing a handgun that police found under the seat of his sport utility vehicle during a drug-related search.

Sharon and a companion were arrested Saturday night after a Tampa police officer noticed the odor of marijuana coming from his 2007 Chevrolet Tahoe parked in the Ybor City entertainment district, a police report said.

A search of the vehicle turned up a Glock Model 27 handgun under the driver's seat. Tampa police reported that the gun was stolen last year from a federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agent in Putnam County, but an ATF spokesman said Monday that the weapon belonged to an agent of the state Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco.

Amazingly, Charles Sharon drops in on ESPN.com to comment on this article:

Hi. My name is Charles Sharon. Last year I was a rookie. I made the league minimum salary of $260,000. I decided that it would be better if I stole a gun instead of using some of my earnings to buy and register it. I AM A MORON!

Nice Guys Finish Last

Congrats to the good guy, Sean Taylor, who has been named one of S.I.'s 10 most controversial football players.

Taylor has had legal problems since entering the NFL. He faced felony assault charges from a 2005 incident in Miami, but eventually reached an agreement with prosecutors that resulted in just community service. Taylor is also controversial for his hard hits on the field. At this year's Pro Bowl, the Redskins safety laid a devastating hit on Bills punter Brian Moorman.

Don't forget that time he spit on wife-beating Michael Pittman in a playoff game.

Also, don't forget a DUI that was throw out when his lawyer claimed that Sean failed the alphabet test because he hadn't had to recite it in so long, so he just forgot a few letters.

And are hard hits on the field controversial? Or are they FOOTBALL?

In fairness to Sean, they're talking about controversy, which is generally not the event but the speculation and hoopla around it. Beating and your wife isn't controversial, just despicable. Ditto for dewies, guns and the entire Bengals team. Although the list is kind of inconsistent, because Chris Henry and Pacman Jones make it which is actual trouble, but I guess those guys are the public faces of trouble and thusly controversial. I don't think T.O. has ever been arrested so putting him above guys who have put lives at risk seems kinda iffy.

The list:
1. T.O.
2. Randy "Straight Cash Homey" Moss
3. Pacman Jones
4. Chris Henry
5. Jeremy Shockey
6. Tank Williams
7. Michael Vick
8. Sean Merriman
9. Sean Taylor
10. Ricky Williams

My list (of recent history) would go:
1. Ray Caruth: killed his pregnant girlfriend
2. Leonard Little: killed a women while driving drunk
3. Ray Lewis: killed a man for no reason
4. Pacman Jones: complicit in shooting that resulted in man being paralyzed
5. Maurice Clarret: Drank a bunch and went on a berserk assassination mission
6. Randy McMichael: pushed his girlfriend out of a moving car
7. Maurice Jones-Drew & Ricky Manning Jr.: beat a guy at Denny's unconscious because he looked like a nerd.
8. Albert Haynsworth: cleated a man's face DURING A GAME
9. a) Koren Robinson: 8,000 DUIs, 90 days in jail.
...b) Chris Henry: 5,000 DUIs
10. Michael Irvin: blow and hoes.

A Rumor That Doesn't Involve Britney Spear's Drug Habits (psst, it was heroin)

WaPo's Jason La Canfora reports that new Bronco corner Dre Bly would rather be a Redskin.

Numerous league sources, including several who have spoken with Denver cornerback Dre' Bly, said that the player is miffed that he was dealt to the Broncos last week instead of Washington. As I have reported, the Redskins were deep into trade and subsequent contract talks with Bly - a Detroit Lion at the time - and were dangling cornerback Shawn Springs in discussions with those teams.

I'm all for it. Sprigs is a solid corner, no doubt, but his frequently tattered groin is far from solid and I wouldn't mind watching him hobble out of Washington.

My only concern with Bly is that a guy who once publicly bashed his teammates, could be prone to do it again:

"If we'd had production on offense, in particular the quarterback position, Mooch wouldn't have been fired...We're all at fault, but I just feel like Joey [Harrington]'s been here four years, and being the No. 3 pick in the draft, he hasn't given us anything, He hasn't given us what the third pick in the draft should give us."

In the chemistry conscious NFL it's doubtful that a guy who's unhappy with his situation would be kept in that situation, especially when he's filling the shoes of a well-liked and recently deceased player. I expect this to happen.

Same Case for Art Monk, New Way of Making It

This post is looooong. If you're interested in reading it, click here.
Once there you may want to just print the thing out. I could've made a .pdf in a pleasant looking, easy to read format, but I could've not and given those choices I went with not. Here's a teaser intro:

As sporting history expands, so expands the list of sport’s ‘What the hell’ moments;
Cubs: What the hell part of his arm is hurt?
John Daly: What the hell are these clubs for again?
Chargers: Ryan Leaf? What the hell were we thinking?
Mike Tyson: What the hell is on my face?

Recent history has also unkindly granted the Washington Redskins a WTHM, as former coaches, players and millions of fans rally behind one question: What the hell is keeping Art Monk out of the Hall of Fame?

Happy Trails! Welcome Home!

Since the start of the free-agent carousel, the following things have been a move'n and a shake'n:

UPDATED 3:01 PM: Jeff 'Gay But Not Gay' Garcia is rumored to have signed with the Raiders -- which is weird because I thought he was truly tired of being a starter for losing teams. Lions, Browns and now the Raiders?...sheesh.

Jake Plummer has retired, voiding a trade to the Bucs

Joe Horn was released

Pittsburgh's Joey Porter was cut

Colts WR Brandon Stokley, cut

San Fran WE Antoino Bryant, cut

Texans WR Eric Moulds, cut

Old Man Brad Johnson released

Old Man McCardell is out in San Diego

Jamaal Lewis will likely be waived

TE Daniel Graham is set to become a Bronco, joining former Lions CB Dre Bly

Buffalo is looking to trade Takieo Spikes

J-Ville resigns Freddy "Oh, My Knee" Taylor

IN REDSKINS NEWS: The teams has resigned FB Mike Sellers and guard Randy Thomas. More cap wiggle room, what else is new?

ALSO, a good overview of free agency terms and rules from NFL.com.

Why Your Team Beat My Team Or Why My Team Beat Your Team

With the awesome power of hindsight you can mold NFL stats into whatever shape you'd like, and today I did just that.

In this case I was trying to find a stat that accurately measured how well a team performed last season. Common sense says that the average PPG against the average of P-Allowed PG would be a good indicator. Turns out it's a very good indicator.

I was actually shocked at how well it corresponded with the playoff team's records. Check it (teams listed in order of finish at end of regular season):


{{I have no idea why this white space is here. I can't fix it. So gets scrolling, dammit.}}




{{Let's just call it a Michael Irvin coke break}}

	PPG	PAPG	Differential
San Diego	30.8	18.9	+11.9
Chicago	26.7	15.9	+10.8
Baltimore	22.1	12.6	+9.5
Indy	26.7	22.5	+4.2
New England	24.1	14.8	+9.3
New Orleans	25.8	20.1	+5.7
Philly	24.9	20.5	+4.4
NY Jets	19.8	18.4	+1.4
Seattle	20.9	21.3	-1
Dallas	26.6	21.9	+4.7
KC	20.7	19.7	+1
NY Giants	22.2	22.6	-0.4

As you can see Seattle over-performed again and squeaked bye in a crappy division.

Jacksonville had some tough breaks this year. Sure, they didn't man-up when it counted, but they managed to man-up enough o compile a pretty healthy scoring differential, just not the W's that usually accompany it.

Their line:
23.2     17.1     +6.1
Which is better than half the playoff teams.


AS FOR the Redskins:
19.2     23.5     -4.3
Ouch.

It could've been worse though,
14.9     22.2     -7.3
I could be a Browns fan.

...

How to take it like a champ...Cleveland-style

Team signs star, homegrown center...star center gets hurt before season begins...more surgery now required that may end not only star center's next season, but possibly entire career.

The fans of the (insert team) by now are raging in unison; a smoldering caulderon of cheated feelings and 'what the fuck's?!?' burn well into the upcoming season, lamenting on the disaster at every possible moment a discussion arises.

Yeah...maybe...but not in Cleveland.

LeCharles Bentley's blown up knee and pending disaster is just another pothole fallen through on the tattered road the Browns' ass-pulled rickshaw has been traversing in, oh, the past four decades. Better yet, not only have we inertly accepted this latest news, we've basically already concluded his career is smoked. Well, unless he gets let go, then we will all witness a resurrection tantamount to that of Jesus Christ.

The Boulevard of Broken Dreams stretches not through the glitz and glamour of southern California my friends, that treacherous pass resides along the Lake Erie shore. Beaten yet again, yes, though defeated, never.

What doesn't kill (again) you makes you stronger(right?)...GO BROWNS!!!

Pacman Jones To Teach 'Street Logic 101'

Although my co-blooger Absnaz fancies the NBA as a bunch of thugs, it remains clear the NFL is a league with major behavioral problems.

In the last 48 hours: Koren Robinson was sentenced to 90-days for fleeing police, Dominic Rhodes was arrested for drunk driving, and the king of trouble, Pacman Jones, is sought for questioning in a triple-shooting that occurred while Jones was in Vegas for the NBA all-star game. Jones has not been named a suspect in the strip-club shooting. To his credit, Pacman was in the good company of Nobel Peace scholar Nelly.

According to his lawyer:

"I asked him: 'Was anybody in your group involved in the shooting? And he said, "No."

"I said, 'Then why did you leave?' He said, "When there's guns there's always someone else coming with a gun. That's what you do. You get out of there.""

Picks and Chicks

I missed this Page 2 review of the year's worst sports predictions. Some of the NFL ones are great:

Worst Prediction of the Year, First Runner-Up: Mike Florio of Profootballtalk.com: "We predict for both the Bears and the Colts a tough time in 2006."

Worst Prediction of the Year: Bob Oates, Los Angeles Times. Oates predicted Cincinnati, Denver, Detroit, Miami, Pittsburgh and Washington would reach the postseason -- all missed -- while Chicago would not make the playoffs. He said the Lions had a realistic chance of advancing to the Super Bowl. And the Indianapolis Colts? They will "flame out" because Peyton Manning "isn't a natural quarterback."

AND BECAUSE the Skins were very much apart of the years bad picks, let's cheer up by looking at a picture of a woman who I predict to be my next girlfriend.

BREAKING NEWS: Pats Finally Pay A Star Player...Sort Of

Asante Samuel has been hit with the 'franchise player' tag. For those unfamiliar with the logistics of the designation, it's good for a one year extension with a payout of the average of the top-5 NFL CB salaries. Which quasi-sucks for Asante, as he may have earned top dollar in the market. Bill Belichick said:

"Asante Samuel is an outstanding player who has been a consistent contributor for us for several years. We hope Asante remains a Patriot for many seasons to come. Unfortunately, hope is not a currency accepted by anyone and it's all Mr. Kraft is ultimately prepared to spend.

IN OTHER NEWS...Dan Snyder is inviting Redskins fans to a bonfire at Redskins park. The fire will be fueled by the hard cash he was preparing to pay Samuel with.

Bears Meet Shank

From the Sun-Times:

The Bears signed kicker Nick Novak and allocated him to NFL Europe. Novak was originally in training camp with the Bears in 2005 and has scored 64 points in two seasons with the Washington Redskins and Arizona Cardinals. He will provide insurance for Robbie Gould and an extra leg for camp.

Bears - Robbie Gould + Shank Novak + Windy City = Shit, we suck again.